single mom...Father's Day is NOT your day!

Father's Day is fast approaching and before the phones blow up with the Happy Father's Day text or the Facebook and social media tagging begins, let me just KINDLY tell any and all of my friends, "DO NOT TAG ME IN A HAPPY FATHERS DAY SINGLE MOM POST!"

​For one, I am NOT  a father! Never have been.  I am and will always be MOM! Second, there is no job description outlined for a "parent" and definitely not specifically for a mother or father. Yes, single mom you are pulling the weight of the family on your back, but even in some two-parent homes, we Moms have the GET IT DONE attitude.

Now before your feathers get ruffled single moms, know and understand that I have your back! Yes, we are with our kids 24/7. Many of us do not receive an ounce of monetary or physical support from the father of our children.  Yes, indeed, we balance our hectic lives and keep our children pushing forward by any means necessary.  So our babies...SINGLE MOMS...are GOOD with what you provide and WHO you are in their lives.

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​Because here  is the startling reality.  About 17% of custodial single parents are FATHERS. I will say it again....nearly 2.5 million households are held down by single fathers! Sure, it is not a large percentage, when compared to single mothers, but when we start to diminish those numbers down by also factoring into household for which custodial parents include relatives or non-kinship (i.e., foster care and adoption), we find that DADS are holding it down too! Last I checked, I did see any of them shouting Happy Mother's Day to the single dads. Nor did I find any post bashing "dead beat moms" who are not raising their children or have lost custody.

In addition, NOT every single mom out there shares the same sentiments of "my baby daddy ain't S**T!" In fact, I praise the co-parenting relationship that I have. Indeed it is NOT perfect. Yes, there are times when I can roll my eyes and huff and puff about things not being ideal, but you know what? Many kids get excited to share things that only "dads" can understand. My own son is beaming at the thought of spending a great majority of his summer vacation at his dad's house. And to be honest, I am relieved that my son's father and I can co-exist in the same space. For sure this is not everyone's story, but it does not have to be an added stress on our every day responsibilities as parents and the life for our children. (Learn more about co-parenting with BFE)

​​​Single Moms...again I  salute us EVERYDAY. When we can give that look in the grocery store as we are juggling the screaming preschooler while picking up a 5lb of sugar and breastfeeding twins simultaneously because the father was not "ready" for the responsibilities of parenthood...YES I hit the "dab on em" with you! But for FATHER'S DAY.... I sign off of saluting and giving nods to myself. Because this day....FATHER'S DAY...is not about us. This day is about the stepfathers who STEPPED up and helped to raise our beautiful children and saw the WIFE in us when the first guy doubted. This day is for the uncles or brothers who take the time to come out and see our kids first basketball game or our little princesses' ballet recital. This day is about the pastor and bishops who pray over our children and lead them into worship during children's church. This day is about the friend and neighbor who see's you struggling trying to teach your son to throw a football and offers a hand.

​Because this day... FATHER'S DAY...is about FATHERS. Whether or not biological ones are active in your child's life, there are many single mothers out here, and many children too, who are blessed and fortunate to have a father or fatherly figure to praise and thank everyday. And be mindful that there are many more, who praise their fathers at gravesites because they have fallen to war and military experience or fatal accidents.  Because of that SINGLE MOMS please respect and honor this day for the many FATHERS out there with only positivity and hope.

On Father's Day, I encourage you to share a kind word about the FATHERS you do know and love. Happy Father's Day to all of the Dad's out there.