...and watch it change your life!
I am no stranger to overwhelm and feeling over it and burnt out! In fact, I wrote the book on it... Literally! I could remember when I was running around helping everyone, taking on multiple responsibilities at work or in the community, and volunteering in different activities with my son. Thinking... I just have to do this to prove how strong I am. Or to prove how the challenges of being a single mom was not going to me. And because of that, I probably made things more complicated because I enjoyed my fair share of "forget it, I'll do it myself!" As you can imagine... I was completely done with all things!
Just this past week, I sat down with Sharvette Mitchell of the Sharvette Mitchell Radio Show to dive deeper into my philosophy and mission for empowering women, shared my strategies for helping overwhelmed and overworked career-driven and business women to create balance, and even gave insight into how women can LEVEL UP their 2019!
NO! The acceptance was in knowing that I can have all that I desire in life, but I CAN'T do everything for everyone all the time. More so, I also learned that in letting go of these expectations, I started to grow in an amazing way. And that growth...well let's just say that it put me in different spaces too. Of course, once you start elevating, you have to surround yourself with others to move with you.
The term "RSVP" comes from the French expression répondez s'il vous plaît, meaning "please respond." If RSVP is written on an invitation, it means the host has requested that the guest respond to say if they plan to attend the party. However, these days, RSVPs for events and conferences, especially on social media with tags of "Interested" or "Going" seem more like REGRETS ONLY because more and more women are turning down their own RSVP to living their best life and improving their overall well-being.
Unless you are new to me and Girlfriends Chat, then there is no way that you could miss out on who I am and what Girlfriends Chat represents: Women rediscovering and redefining themselves with confidence, balance, and a commitment to their self-care. Why? Because as women we become overwhelmed and overworked with trying to do and be everything for everyone, that we more than OFTEN, forget about ourselves. And even when it comes to making time for ourselves, or going after our goals, or checking into resources or conferences that can help us, we pass up to the opportunity to make our own RSVP towards our happiness. Largely, we justify why we can't do things that help us to overcome our frustration and move powerfully towards our success.
And here's why!
I often share how much I love setting goals, crushing them, and then setting new ones. So it should be a no-brainer that I love the turn of the year because it's traditionally celebrated with a commitment to try something new or to get back to something that I started. Each year, around October, I sit down to think about the present year and the upcoming year ahead. I begin a rigorous and fun way of challenging myself to be better.
And that challenge begins with me thinking of a few goals that I wish to accomplish over the course of the next year. And then, I set out by brainstorming ways for which I plan to reach that goal. In the weeks leading up to the change of the year, I craft my Vision Board with some targeted action steps to make my dreams a reality. Largely, I contribute success in bringing my goals to fruition by the resolutions I make at the end of the year. To me, resolutions are the MOST important element to my annual goal setting. Why? Because the resolutions you set determine the attitude and mindset that you will actually have towards your desired goals.
To learn more, please visit Ebooks & Guides for more of how you can catch my audio broadcast of "Are Your Resolutions Holding You Back?"
FAM·I·LY: a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
Families provide structure to our lives. Our family relationships, especially when growing up as children, help to make each of us the adults we are today, and influence how treat and raise our own children. To me, it is not so much of the structure of your family (be it birth, kinship, foster or adoptive, or co-parenting), but more about the health and dynamics of your family relationships that matter most! While it can be a statistical back-and-forth about the "best structure" for children, the reality is children thrive best when family structures and relationships are safe, stable and respectful.
When Your Kid Says "I Hate You!"
Well, last night…I officially became that parent. Sadly, it was a day that I dreaded and knew would happen someday. Probably because I see it as some sort of “right of passage” for us parents and caregivers. And no, I am not talking about the awkward question of where babies come from or anything of the sort. I am talking about the biggest, dreaded three words that we cringe to hear from our kids: “I HATE YOU!”
That’s right, last night….in the midst of all of his frustration because I sent him to bed before the movie ended, my sweet loving 6 year old son yelled out, in between a pause during his little fit, “I HATE YOU!”
Did I respond? Oh as sure as you are reading this, oh YES I DID! I took a slight deep breath to gather my heart. As calmly and as soft a tone as possible, I looked him in his eyes and I said, “And goodnight to you too sweetie.” And my son stormed to his bedroom tears flowing.
Father's Day is fast approaching and before the phones blow up with the Happy Father's Day text or the Facebook and social media tagging begins, let me just KINDLY tell any and all of my friends, "DO NOT TAG ME IN A HAPPY FATHERS DAY SINGLE MOM POST!"
For one, I am NOT a father! Never have been. I am and will always be MOM! Second, there is no job description outlined for a "parent" and definitely not specifically for a mother or father. Yes, single mom you are pulling the weight of the family on your back, but even in some two-parent homes, we Moms have the GET IT DONE attitude.
Now before your feathers get ruffled single moms, know and understand that I have your back! Yes, we are with our kids 24/7. Many of us do not receive an ounce of monetary or physical support from the father of our children. Yes, indeed, we balance our hectic lives and keep our children pushing forward by any means necessary. So our babies...SINGLE MOMS...are GOOD with what you provide and WHO you are in their lives.
3 Standards of Dating to Avoid Being Too Picky
When it comes to dating, we definitely have to know what we want in our potential spouse! But....are there are times when our wants supersede our intentions and expectations? ABSOLUTELY! When we become so consumed by our checklist of "must haves," we can lose sight of core principles and values. Ultimately we can find ourselves asking the age old question of, "Why am I still single?"
After taking some much needed me time this past week, where I was not on duty and not responsible for making decisions for my son, it made me think about why Moms should take at least one "Momcation" monthly! Yes, Momcation, as in a brief time away from your children.
When I eagerly packed my bags and whisked off for a few days, I freed my mind of any Mommy duty. Gone were the thoughts of waking up to cook breakfast when I just wanted to sleep in. Gone were the thoughts of clothing battles when my kiddo just wants to wear boxers all day. Most of all, gone were the "Mommy...Mommy...Mommy" "MOOOOOOM!" wails that echo my house every day. What I welcomed was me.... Monique.
Just as you are enjoying the pleasure of your spouse or partner, your little one walks in!! Oh S#%&t!!!!!! Who has been there?
Don't panic! Sex Happens! Don't feel embarrassed! Sex Happens!
It is normal to still want and desire physical intimacy after children. How else do you explain siblings? The babies happened at some point. Interestingly, many shy away from having sex out of fear that they will get caught in the act. I can remember the horror of walking in on my parents. My mother shouted out, "CLOSE THE DOOR!" and we ran back to our rooms. We didn't say anything else about it.
I have stressed over and over this month on various blog posts and my social media accounts about the importance of self-love, or loving yourself unapologetically and finding your happiness within. Of utmost importance is the fact that in exercising self-love you have to care for your well-being. While the concept seems simple enough, many parents and caregivers, especially mothers, struggle with exercising self-love and caring for themselves.
According to Dictionary.com, self-love is "the instinct by which one's actions are directed to the promotion of one's own welfare or well-being, especially an excessive regard for one's own advantage; conceit, vanity; narcissism." This moral flaw has led many to believe that by taking time for ourselves, or wanting to be apart from our children or spouse to enjoy silence or alone time, it is selfish or vain. Even with psychologist and social philosopher Erich Fromm proposing that "loving oneself is different from being arrogant, conceited, or egocentric" in 1956, we continue to struggle with the notion that we as parents or caregivers don't DESERVE some me time.
This struggle is one that challenged me throughout my prenatal stage and first few years of being Mom. I am sure I am not alone, so I thought I would walk down the course of my life and share with you: